Christmas Spirits

I had a dream a couple nights ago. In it, it was Christmas.. Christmas day, I think, and I was with my family at our old house on Janzen St. The odd part was - I had a brother. He was tall, but young, probably around twelve or thirteen. He had blond hair (possibly close to light brown) and glasses. His name was John. In the dream, the way it was presented to me was like Dawn in "Buffy". It was like, suddenly I had a brother and everyone acted like it had always been that way, but I knew it hadn't been. I had memories of him, but knew they were "planted". But it didn't really matter - everyone accepted that he was my brother and so did I. I just knew he hadn't always been there.

I remembered it with clarity upon waking (along with how we had troubles with lights and balancing a mini-tree; that part was precognitive of my tree-difficulty that I had the following day!). Later that day I told mom about it. She got really quiet. Years ago she had become pregnant, but her doctor had advised her that she was too old at the time. It was a high-risk pregnancy - either the baby would be stillborn, deformed in some way, or it could kill her. So mom and dad decided to abort the pregnancy. Although we regretted not having the new member to our family, we never regretted the abortion.

But who's to say we didn't gain a new member to our family anyway? You see, years later I talked with mom about it and confided to her how I always had a feeling it would have been a boy. She'd had the very same feeling. So now, when I told her about the dream, it was very bittersweet. She admitted that, if dad had of agreed, she would have named the child John because that was the name of her first love. And, if he had of been born, my little brother would have been around eleven or twelve right now. The other thing was, mom reminded me that it had been around this time of year that it had happened, and she feels it's why she gets sad at Christmastime now.

A while ago a friend of mine, someone who can sense spirits, told me she felt a young male was with me. I'd wondered if it was my guardian/twin, Rael, but no.. Rael is not a "young male". He comes up differently, and she described him later. No, the young male is John. My little brother.