Be a kid again!

Yes it's been a long time since I've posted. No I'm not going to make excuses. I've been busy, 'nuff said. The whole thing about getting my foot out of the proverbial door was way more impactual in my life than I expected. When I wrote it I thought I knew what I was refering to, but in actuality I had no clue. I simply had to do the exercise, the visualisation of the removal of the foot-in-the-door, and then roll with the waves of the aftermath. It turns out what I thought I was writing about was only one small piece of what I was holding on to.

As it is, I've been in a sort of cozy cocoon for the past..I'm not sure how many months. At least 7. Though cozy, it was a haphazard shield that at times I felt I was drowning in. It protected me from that which wasn't required at that point, but it also made me feel very isolated and alone, even though I was far from alone, and that lead to feelings of depression. I couldn't shake it no matter what I tried. Finally I figured out the "door" thing, and realized I'd been clinging to so many different things, like fears and comfort zones and the like.

Then about five weeks ago I had what those in religious circles tend to call a "crisis of faith". On retrospect it was actually quite an interesting experience, though frustrating and sad at the time. While usually I am quite strong and convicted in my beliefs, I suddenly was washed with fears and doubts, thinking that everything I'd held dear was probably false and made up, and feeling filled with despair due to it. A few days later I was back to myself again, and the pieces put back together slowly, though in a slightly new configuration. Something had shifted and things really haven't felt the same since.

Another issue haunted me for all these months, one that I won't go into detail about here at this time, but one that has been quite a struggle to understand. Lately, when asking about it or subjects near to it, I receive tarot card answers that point towards "illusion" and "deception", and finally, after months of self-debate and struggle, I think I've come to the conclusion I need. At least the one that fits for now. And I know my dear sweet, PATIENT, best friend is going to be happy to hear that one! *grin*

So...am I out of the cocoon? I think so, very nearly anyway. Yesterday, after work, I had an experience that sparked the title of this entry. A bit of backstory - for the past month I have been spending my free time in a 3D world, provided by a program called "Second Life". This is an expansive world, filled with people of all types and also filled with possibility as citizens of this world can customize their look endlessly, own virtual land and build anything they can imagine, and create any number of things to share and sell. It really is a second life, with an economy and society all of it's own.

In this world I've met many new friends very quickly, and many of them are in Canada, too! On my first night, in fact, I met two people who are good friends - one in Saskatchewan, the other in BC. Second Life (SL) was celebrating it's one year anniversary the past couple days, and yesterday it threw a day-long carnival party where everyone was encouraged to make "kid avatars" to come and play. Let me tell you - it was the most fun I've had online in a LONG time.

My friends - Ryn & Willow - both made kid avatars and we set off to play. I'd actually made one for fun a few days before, not knowing it would come in handy for this day! If you don't know already - letting your inner child out to play is VERY therapeutic. I'd been taught this for years by many different teachings, and still didn't really know how right they were until yesterday.

Nearly everyone came dressed as kids, and we squirted any adults we found with water guns! There was candy, rides, games, toys, lots of free stuff, a dunk tank (where we dunked employees of SL, as well as each other) and events. I made a bubble wand that really blew bubbles to hand out, so there were bubbles everywhere as well. It was so much fun! I tell you - I should try to babysit my friend's little girl more often so I can have more fun playing with kids. I used to enjoy playing with her quite a lot when we lived together, but now they live in another city.

So that's where I've been. I'm going to post links to pictures soon, but I'm at work right now so I can't yet. I'm looking forward to partying on Canada Day, both in my First and Second lives as I have plans for both, and there's lots more coming over the summer!

Oh..and yes, I have another new layout. heheh... I don't like static sites.